There's this guy named Brian writing on pieces of paper, putting them in empty beer bottles, and tossing them in the water.
BRIAN'S WIFE: What are you doing?
BRIAN: I'm putting my name and address in bottles and sending them out to sea. Odds are, someone'll find one and write back to me.
BRIAN'S WIFE: Wow.
BRIAN: Yeah... wow.
On a desert island, a guy with a long beard finds the bottle. He raises it to his mouth, hoping it's full of beer. Instead, he finds a piece of paper, just like in all the other bottles he's found. He reads the paper.
BEARDED GUY: WHY DO YOU TORTURE ME, BRIAN HENDERSON OF 12 MAPLE LANE???!!!!!!!
In a suburban neighborhood, Brian answers his door.
BEARDED GUY: [with sarcastic warmth] Briaaaan!
The bearded guy punches Brian out.
BEARDED GUY: Nice to meet you!