A.R.M. (kinkyturtle) wrote,
A.R.M.
kinkyturtle

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Somebody get this freakin' duck away from me!

http://www.scottpehnke.com/programming/flash.htm

Cool, a Flash recreation of the vintage Atari game Adventure.

Except that I don't play videogames. I'm not a gamer. And fiddling around with this thingy reminded me why.

I can't fucking get anywhere in them. Accomplishing anything, and for that matter figuring out how to accomplish anything useful, takes more time, practice and patience than I'm willing to invest. Too much work for too little reward. Oh shit, the dragon just killed me AGAIN. How the hell do I get past it? Slay it with the sword? What sword? There's no sword! Fuck this, I've got better things to do with my time.

So friends, if you hear me say anything along the lines of "I hate videogames", keep in mind it just means "I hate playing videogames." I've got nothing against people who play them.

In the years (hell, decades) since Adventure came out, I've seen some pretty impressive concepts in videogames. Likeable characters such as Mario, Sonic, Fox McCloud, Parappa, etc. Fantastic, otherworldly settings. Entire worlds of wonder. (And yeah, tons of ugly dark violent shoot-the-monsters-inside-the-sewer-system crap, but never mind that now.) I can't help thinking that videogames are a fascinating development and could be wonderful forms of entertainment if, y'know, it weren't for all that bothersome gameplay crap getting in the way.

When I'm in the mood to play something, I fire up Freecell. Ahh, good ol' playing cards that just sit there and don't move until I tell them to!
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