I'm a turtle at the zoo. They make me hide my third arm so I won't scare the old ladies and homeschooled kids. It's a pretty sweet gig; all I have to do is sit around and be turtly all day. It's kinda boring, but at least they let me have internet access in my enclosure (although I have to hide the laptop behind a log so the old ladies and homeschooled kids won't steal it). I'm not allowed to eat at the snack bar with the tourists, but I do get to use the employee cantina and hang out with the giraffes, moose, gerbils, wolves, manatees, and so on. There used to be a Karn-Evil videogame in the cantina, but it got destroyed when one of the cougars played it, thought he was being attacked, and knocked it over. Oh, and Wednesday is free ice cream day!
Oh, and I just noticed that it's now April Fool's Day. I think I'll celebrate it by rickrolling you. Click this link to get rickrolled!