A.R.M. (kinkyturtle) wrote,

"Seems like every writer in Hollywood is all about the journey and the change in the character."

Speaking of Bolt, this is one of the dumbest movie reviews ever written.

"Okay, two warnings here: 1) Major spoilers and 2) I’m a cynic."

No, you're just an idiot (as I shall demonstrate).

This next quote is actually from near the end of the review:

"The network is missing the star of their show and they do almost nothing to find the dog."

Okay, granted, they didn't show much in the way of people looking for Bolt. Perhaps they wrote some scenes like that, but had to cut them for time. I just figured scenes of crew members cruising the streets of Hollywood keeping their eyes peeled for a dog we know is hundreds of miles away wouldn't make for very gripping cinema.

"For instance, the director goes through all this trouble to get a real performance from Bolt, but when Bolt goes missing, he replaces him with another dog. Seemed out of character for all the trouble the director was going through."

What choice did he have?! It was that or cancel the show. Getting another dog was most likely somebody else's idea, and the director was forced to go along with it to keep his job.

"When Bolt realizes he’s on a TV show, it’s kind of a let down. I think it would’ve been a better movie if Bolt somehow kept his “world” in tact without the awkward realization scenes of Mittens explaining reality."

What are you, five?

"Also, there’s this bit at the end where a group of pigeons pitch Bolt some show ideas and it somehow actually get used. Didn’t really get how that could happen. Seems to break the rules of their own universe."

The idea that got used was that Penny gets abducted by aliens. I just figured some writer on the show came up with it, and it coincidentally happened to match the pigeons' idea. I mean, c'mon. Aliens. It's the kind of idea anybody could come up with!

"Also, they skip over things like why Mittens and Rhino end up in Penny’s house at the end."

Um, because Penny saw them being friends with Bolt after she got out of the hospital, and decided to adopt them?

"Why Rhino isn’t disappointed that Bolt doesn’t have superpowers. Also, when Penny’s mom quits the show for Penny, it seems that the blame should really fall on the agent, not the show. Why not just fire him?"

Rhino never figures out that Bolt doesn't have superpowers. And did you miss the part where Penny was getting tired of the way the show was keeping her and Bolt apart when they weren't busy filming?

"Seems like every writer in Hollywood is all about the journey and the change in the character. But why does the change always have to be let’s live happily-ever after on a farm because being friends is so great? Why can’t you be friends AND still be rich on a TV show?"

See my previous comment.

"Bolt is part of a TV show that centers around a dog. When’s the last time you saw that? The 50’s?"

TV brings back old ideas all the time. This is basically Rin Tin Tin + The Six Million Dollar Man.

"When Penny’s looking for Bolt, she’s the star of a big TV show, so naturally she goes to the copy place to photocopy fliers to hang around the studio? ... Seems to me, a kid that starred in a major TV show would be more savvy and have more resources at her disposal."

Unless Bolt had some sort of radio tracking collar (which he obviously didn't, probably because nobody expected him to escape from the studio), how the hell they gonna find him? I figure she was going to post those fliers around town. Hey, it might work (or it might have if Bolt hadn't been shipped to New York).

"Still, I’m nitpicking. Bolt is an okay Pixar entry"

It's NOT Pixar. It is Disney, and granted, in my opinion it's good enough to be Pixar (a trend I'm happy to see in CGI films), but Pixar didn't make it and you clearly didn't do your homework. Or use your intellect or imagination while watching the movie. You're certainly free to like it or dislike it as you please, but I'm also free to point out your failings as a reviewer.

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