A.R.M. (kinkyturtle) wrote,

Tell Jesus I'm just washing my windshield

My windshield needed a thorough washing on both sides, so I decided to use the free squeegee at the local Chevron station and do my work in the shade of the big canopy. Fortunately when I got there, there was a broken pump I could park at to do my work without blocking anyone from getting gas.

Once I got the outer surface clean, I got out my Windex to wash the inside. As I stood outside my car spritzing a paper towel, a street preacher came up to me and asked me something about Jesus. I muttered something about being too busy. After I finished cleaning the windshield, I got out of my car again to put the Windex and the paper towels back in the trunk. The guy showed up again and tried to engage me in conversation:

PREACHER: Do you love Jesus?
ME: Nope.
P: Who do you love?
M: That's a personal question.
P: Oh, that's personal?
M: Yeah.
P: But you gotta be representing your God.
M: I don't have a god.
P: You don't believe in God?
M: That's right.
P: That's right?
M: That's right.

Then he stepped up onto a concrete island and exclaimed, "I REBUKE that statement! Jesus is REAL!" A number of things I could have said to him flitted through my head, such as:

"I rebuke that statement right back. If Jesus was real, he lived two millennia ago, and his followers spread a bunch of myths about him."

"Look, it's people like you that make me not want to come to this gas station. You're bad for business."

"I didn't come here for a theological debate. I just came here to wash my windshield."

"You seriously expect to win any hearts and minds with a confrontational attitude like that?"

But I couldn't decide which, if any, would be most effective, so I ignored him and drove off. It's true, though; half the time I go to that station, someone seems to want to strike up a conversation with me, though it's usually to ask for money. I may have to stop going there after all, which is a pity as it's so close to my house.

(And now that I reread what he said to me, I'm getting a distinct vibe of "Yess! I got a live one! Time for the sales pitch!" I guess ignoring him was the best thing.)

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