A.R.M. (kinkyturtle) wrote,
A.R.M.
kinkyturtle

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A tale of two burgers, or attempts thereat

OK so tonight Dad wanted a sirloin burger from Jack in the Box. He has celiac disease, so he can't eat bread anymore, so when I get him a burger, I need to ask for no bun. The JitB I went to has in the past showed incompetence at getting the order right. One time they put the cheese on my burger (with bun) instead of his (without bun)*. Another time they put buns on both burgers. So this time I decided to make it foolproof. I went through the drive-thru window twice, ordering Dad's bunless burger first, then going around again and getting everything else as a separate order. Foolproof... or so I THOUGHT.

The first time through, I checked the order to make sure there was no bun. I looked in the plastic box and saw cheese and lettuce on top, and grilled onions and tomatoes peeking out from underneath. Foolishly assuming there would be a meat patty in there somewhere (because NOBODY could be THAT incompetent), I drove around again for the second order: a sirloin burger for me, no cheese, two medium fries, and three eggrolls for Mom. The guy at the window recognized me from the first time**. At first he looked worried that I had a complaint, but I assured him, no, no problem, I'd just "forgotten" the rest of my order. :} So I got the second order and went home.

Dad opened the box and looked inside, saying "Are you sure there's a burger in there?" Well, I *thought* there was. He poked at the contents and said, "There's mayonnaise in here." Oops, that was my fault, Dad had asked for no sauce and I forgot about that. Then he poked at it some more and failed to discover any meat whatsoever. Shit. Now what? Should I pull the patty out of my burger and give it to him? I started to do that, but he said, "Uh, I don't have a plate to put it on," so I said I'd eat quickly and go out to get this mess cleared up. So he sat and ate his fries.

One quick burger of my own later, I went out again, bringing the cheese-and-mayonnaise salad and the receipt that clearly stated "SIRLOIN BURGER" and headed back to JitB to give 'em hell if necessary and come home with an actual patty of meat for no extra charge because I shouldn't have to pay for the same thing twice.

Fortunately the guy behind the counter recognized me from my two trips through the drive-thru. I told him there was no meat in it. He took it, went behind the counter and said, "Hey Chuck***, you forgot the meat!" "And no mayonnaise!" I hastily said. He gave me another plastic box, and this time I could see sirloin poking out from under the lettuce. Fortunately he didn't try to charge me for it and I didn't have to be nasty to him. So I went home and gave Dad his burger. Finally I could relax!

-Epilogue-

There are two JitBs in our vicinity; the one I went to tonight is about a mile away on Main St. The other is about 2 1/2 miles away on W. Bellfort. It's farther away, but they've always gotten our order right. So I declared that we are never goin' back to the one on Main St.! Next time Dad wants a burger, I'll go to the one on W. Bellfort. It doesn't take much longer to get there and back because I can take the 610 Loop part of the way.


-Footnotes-

*The first time I went there to ask for a bunless burger, I had to repeat the order a couple of times for the guy behind the counter who seemed incredulous. Later, I saw him trying to explain the concept of a bunless burger to the wrapper lady in the kitchen, who glared at him like he was crazy, then sighed, rolled her eyes, and shook her head. Jeez, was Atkins that long ago?

**After he took a minute to dump out two mostly-empty cups of coffee from some coffee shop, which the previous customer had left sitting in the drive-thru window, presumably with a cheery "Couldja do us a favor and throw these away for us? Thaaanks." WTF, people! It's a JitB, not the city dump!

***The name wasn't Chuck, but I forget what it was.
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