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Wishy-washy parenting at the supermarket - The online computery journal thingy of a turtle

Feb. 6th, 2008

04:44 pm - Wishy-washy parenting at the supermarket

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I'm a liberal kinda guy, I don't think much of spanking or other overly harsh punishments for children, so this might sound strange coming from me, but whatever happened to discipline?

Nearly every time I go to the supermarket, I see parents taking the most ineffective, wishy-washy approaches to behavior correction I've ever seen, talking indirectly and halfheartedly to their children about how to behave in public. I hear them saying things like, "Okay, Brendon, you know, I don't think you should be fighting with your sister like that, it's kind of not the nicest thing to be doing" or "You know what, Jeremy? This whole whining thing you're doing? It's not really making me very happy."

Children don't respond to that kind of thing! I know I wouldn't have, at that age. You might as well tell your kids, "Do whatever you want, I don't care." When did parents start sounding like image consultants?! When did they start sounding like Lumbergh? When did they start being afraid to do so much as speak firmly to their children? What's wrong with a good strong "STOP" or "NO"?

Current Mood: annoyedseriously what the hell people

Comments:

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From:aerofox
Date:February 6th, 2008 07:54 pm (UTC)

The Wishy-washy Washing Machine Company of Wallawalla Washington

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I know exactly what you mean. Its one of the main reasons I don't like shopping...especially at Wal-Mart!

Screaming, misbehaving kids everywhere... Just as on the flight home from FC, there was a 4 year old kid sitting in the seat behind Loriana. He kept kicking her seat. loriana turned around several times and asked that he not do that. His parents were totally lax on disciplining the child.

I worry what the next generation is going to be like.....
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From:michaelmink
Date:February 7th, 2008 12:05 am (UTC)

Re: The Wishy-washy Washing Machine Company of Wallawalla Washington

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I sure if I talked to one of KT's chums, the Mad Latinist Justin Mansfield, he could point me to about a dozen places in 2,000+ year old literature where folks were complaining about what the next generation was going to be like, that kids today have no manners, &c.

La plus ca change...
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From:svashtar
Date:February 6th, 2008 08:11 pm (UTC)
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I miss the days of parents saying, "If you don't stop that I'm going to DESTROY YOUR BODY."

It was effective when my mom used to say that.
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From:hollyannvix
Date:February 6th, 2008 08:30 pm (UTC)
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"If you don't stop that I'm going to DESTROY YOUR BODY."

This made me LOL! XD I've never heard that one before! XD
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From:orv
Date:February 6th, 2008 11:51 pm (UTC)
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I BROUGHT YOU INTO THIS WORLD, AND BY GOD, I CAN TAKE YOU OUT OF IT!
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From:hollyannvix
Date:February 6th, 2008 08:29 pm (UTC)
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I can't stand it whenever parents stay stuff like that to their kids...they never listen =P

When my brother and I were kids, my mom handled us one of two ways when we were bad (and we weren't bad often because we KNEW better!) there was "The Mom Look", where she just had to look at us and we'd run to our bedrooms! XD Or a tap across the palm of our hand. She only used the strap once or twice on us and that was it. We spent more time standing in the corner then getting taps or the strap.

My dad got angry very rarely...all he had to do was slam his hand down on the table or counter and say "Well, by the cracky!!" and we knew he meant business and we ran to our rooms! XD
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From:varro
Date:February 6th, 2008 08:34 pm (UTC)
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That would be greeeeeeeat if you could stop kicking and screaming in the restaurant.

Seriously....I had a tantrum a few times (that I remember) in public places....my parents took me out of there immediately, and if it was a restaurant, I went home without dinner.

And our elementary school had probably the nastiest punishment ever - if you misbehaved, you had to copy dictionary pages while the other kids had recess. Oh, and it was right in front of everyone else going to the cafeteria...
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From:kinkyturtle
Date:February 7th, 2008 12:24 am (UTC)
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I bet I know what it is: it's not that Social Services will take you away... it's that the kid might *cry*. These parents seem deathly afraid of doing anything that might bring a tear or a furrowed brow to the kid's face. Either they don't wanna hurt pwecious angel's feewings, or they don't know how to deal with crying in public.
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From:deckardcanine
Date:February 7th, 2008 01:23 pm (UTC)
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They might be worried about looking like mean parents, or they might just hate the noise with the fury of a hundred white stars. "He's finally old enough not to cry every ten minutes. No way am I going to induce it on purpose."
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From:dcrabbit
Date:February 6th, 2008 11:30 pm (UTC)
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Liberal types have turned today's western society into such a touchy feely nanny state that parents are terrified of being charged with something if they even raise their voices to their kids in public.
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From:orv
Date:February 6th, 2008 11:54 pm (UTC)
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I don't think it's even that. I mean, I could see that making them reluctant to spank their kids, but no one ever got charged with child abuse for raising their voice.

I think the real problem is we have a youth-obsessed society where parents want to be seen as "cool" and "in touch," and want to be their kids' friends. They're terrified of becoming uncool old fogeys like their own parents. The problem is you can't be someone's friend and an authority figure at the same time.
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From:dcrabbit
Date:February 7th, 2008 08:33 am (UTC)
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Hmmm.. very good point. That makes more sense than what I said.
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From:kinkyturtle
Date:February 7th, 2008 12:21 am (UTC)
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It's not even a nanny-state thing in this case! I wish these parents *would* act like nannies at *least*.
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From:dcrabbit
Date:February 7th, 2008 08:32 am (UTC)
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Heh.. true. Yeah.. if they did, it'd be no problem.
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From:michaelmink
Date:February 7th, 2008 12:03 am (UTC)
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Overall, I think "Orv" has come the closest to the truth, especially in the friend v. authority figure point. There is also an element of me > society, in that you (Orv, KT, dcrabbit, et alia) don't have any right to dictate what I (parent) or him/her (child) can do, no matter how it affects you.

Now if this had been me, and believe me, I was a hyperactive kit, the wrath of Mum would have been upon me, and that was a terrifying thing. No paws, just the force of personality.
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From:nefaria
Date:February 7th, 2008 10:22 am (UTC)
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I think it's a combination of TV teaching kids that rebellion is cool combined with the media telling parents that discipline will stunt their children's emotional growth and self-esteem. Parents need to teach their kids right from wrong, and they won't succeed unless they're firm about what's wrong.
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