Saying "Happy Holidays", revisited - The online computery journal thingy of a turtle

To me, it sounded like you were ribbing the people who take offense when others tell them they can't say "Merry Christmas." I'm happy to find I was mistaken.

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Meh.. I get caught up in the swing of things and completely miss the point. I do that a lot. :p

I still think Happy Holidays is too generic tho. You could say that for every holiday and probably get away with it.

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I like that idea, it's silly enough to work! Let's do it for New Year's! And MLKing Day! And Valentine's! Greet your neighbour with a cheery "Happy Holidays!" on President's Day (which works in the plural form, as President's Day is a combination of two holidays, and "Happy Holidays" works). Write "Happy Holidays!" on your Easter Eggs! Get a "Happy Holidays" barbecue smock for that Memorial Day backyard beef cook! Answer the phone with "Happy Holidays!" on the 4th of July! And Labour Day! And Columbus Day! By the time Thanksgiving rolls around, they'll be used to your odd behaviour. Or they'll have killed you. Either way, you'll know.

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What about Halloween? I don't think you'd get much candy with a chorus of "Happy Holidays" when the neighbor opens the door. You'd be lucky if you didn't get a rock.

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That's a little different. You're not supposed to say "Happy Halloween" then, either; it's "Trick or treat."

But if you substitute "Happy holiday" for "April fool," people will think you're just screwy. Which may be what you have in mind.

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How do you figure? I don't think it would make sense to wish people "Happy Holidays" at a time of year when there's really only one holiday in particular that you're referring to. Saying Happy Holidays at this particular time of year acknowledges that there are multiple religious and/or secular holidays at this time of year, and is a handy shorthand for "I can't immediately tell from looking at you which holiday is likely to be your favorite, and while I could ascertain this with a brief conversation, it's possible that you would find the attendant line of inquiry offensive, and besides, I'm not looking to strike up a relationship with you, I'm just trying to buy a cup of coffee. Anyway, I wish to convey my desire that you have a good time on whatever holiday you happen to celebrate.", which is a bit of a mouthful when you're in line at the coffee place and there are a dozen people waiting in line behind you.

I guess you could say "Happy Holidays" in mid-February to cover both you good wishes for a person on both Valentines Day and Presidents' Day, but that would confuse most people. I don't think anyone's actually confused by the use of "Happy Holidays" around this time of year, and no one's actually offended except for people who are looking to be offended.

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You know, when I was a kid, we said "Happy Holidays" all the time, because it was shorter than saying "Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year." The idea that anyone could be offended by "Happy Holidays" just strikes me as gigglingly silly. You may wish me a Happy and/or a Merry anything you like, it won't make no nevermind to me!

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"You know, I really like birds."

"What, you don't like penguins?"

"Of course I do, I said I really like birds."

"But you didn't even make the foggiest mention of penguins at all! Clearly you are out to oppress penguins just like Hitler set out to oppress the Jews."

"But penguins are..."

"I cover my ears at you and hereby call this debate in my own favor due to the fact that you no longer suit my reality. Good day, and Merry @#*%ing Christmas! Fascist."

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"Merry Christmas" is the new "fuck you."

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Not a very Christian attitude, is it?

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