A.R.M. (kinkyturtle) wrote,

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Kids send in the darnedest things

Ever hear something and not realize it could be taken the wrong way until years later? I have. There was this cartoon by B. Kliban depicting an axe with its head mounted the wrong way on the handle, lying on the ground next to where a sheep was standing. The title was "Unnatural Ax with a Sheep". I recall the exact moment I realized the dirty pun behind it; I was behind the couch in the living room of a colleague of my Dad's in Germany.

Well I just had another moment like that! Except this time the dirty double meaning was (I hope) completely unintended.

When I was a kid, there was a show on PBS I watched every day, called "ZOOM". (I hear they recently revived it.) The show was hosted by a group of seven (in later seasons, ten) kids all wearing identical red-and-yellow-striped shirts. They told jokes and stories, performed skits, made recipes, etc. Most of these things were sent in by kids who watched the show.

There was this one skit I vaguely remember about a group of people all getting ready to commit suicide by jumping off a bridge. The first one is a reporter, and she says she's going to jump off the bridge because there are no more stories left to report. She asks the other people why they're going to jump. The other people all have reasons given in the same format: "I'm an A-B-er, and there are no more As left to B." For instance, "I'm a prizefighter and there are no more prizes left to fight." (Dammit, for the life of me I can't remember most of them!) The punchline comes when everybody decides to jump off together, on the count of three. They all jump, except the reporter, who starts scribbling in her notebook and says, "What a story!"

Now, the really funny thing about the skit, which I realized just now while emptying the dishwasher, has to do with the only other line I can remember from the skit:

"I'm a private eye, and there are no more privates to eye."

Some kid wrote that! And some other kid said it! On TV even! And I was a kid when I watched it! OMG!

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