A.R.M. (kinkyturtle) wrote,
A.R.M.
kinkyturtle

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Hooray for natural gums! Now let's make fun of 'em!

Wikipedia says, "Natural gums are polysaccharides of natural origin, capable of causing large viscosity increase of a solution in even a small concentration. In food industry they are used as thickening agents, gelling agents, stabilisers and emulsifiers." That's as may be. I say gums have weird names! Have a look at the list:

* Chicle - This gum has the silliest name ever. Chicle! Say it over and over! Chicle chicle chicle chicle chick-chick-chick-chick-chicle!
* Dammar gum - Because of its profane name, this gum is sometimes euphemized as "Darnar gum" when there are kids present.
* Gellan gum (E418) - First discovered by explorer Ferdinand Gellan, this is the first gum to circumnavigate the globe.
* Guar gum (E412) - Dude, you know the band GWAR? They should totally give this stuff out at concerts. They could call it "GWAR GUM" and it would be AWESOME!
* Gum arabic (E414) - This is a Semitic gum that is written right to left in a flowing script with lots of dots on it.
* Karaya gum (E416) - Often chewed at campfires, while the scoutmaster sings, "Karaya, my lord, Karayaaaa..."
* Konjac - Used to make lollipops. Who loves ya, baby?
* Locust bean gum (E410) - One of the Ten Plagues of Egypt. Egyptians were forced to chew this stuff, known for its ungainly flight, a loud buzzing noise, and a tendency to only appear once every 17 years.
* Mastic - Do you masticate? Chew chew chew, it is the thing to do. Chew chew chew, good food is good for you.
* Spruce gum - This stuff is just darling! A little of it will spruce the place right up.
* Tara gum (E417) - This gum has a tendency to be burned down by the Yankees. But as God is my witness, it will never go hungry again!
* Tragacanth (E413) - Okay, now you're just making stuff up. C'mon, "tragacanth"? What I'm supposed to do with that mess?
* Xanthan gum (E415) - The only gum invented by noted sci-fi author Piers Anthony, this is the favorite gum of aliens from all over the galaxy.

Honorable mention: These polysaccharides are not classified as gums for some reason, but they have funny names too.
* Agar (E406) - Not to be confused with Agarn, the gum played by Larry Storch on F Troop, this gum appeared in many B-grade horror flicks, such as Revenge of the Creature, The Mole People, and The Brain from Planet Arous.
* Carageenan (E407) - Named after Seamus Carageenan O'Shaughnessy, the most talented musician EVER, this gum is used to make pennywhistles, bodhrans, uilleann pipes, ceilidhs, fleadh cheoils, and shillelaghs.

So there you have it. Now get out there and GUM!
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