A.R.M. (kinkyturtle) wrote,

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Welcome back to "No Idea What I'm Doing In The Kitchen", on the This Is Food? Network

Well, my first ever attempt to make a Key Lime pie is... a more-or-less success so far. I mixed the condensed milk and egg yolks together, but then the recipe called for 3 to 4 oz. of Key Lime juice. I couldn't remember how much an oz. was. I sort of thought it was a tiny amount, like a teaspoon. So I put in a quick little slurk of juice and mixed it in.

The recipe said to mix until thick. It seemed to be thoroughly mixed, but not very thick. I figured maybe that was as thick as it would get. So I ejected the beaters from the electric mixer into a bowl of water in the sink, and poured the mixture into the crust.

The recipe called for 15-20 minutes at 350°F. Oops, I forgot to preheat the oven. Well, might as well start now. Then Mom reminded me that some of the glass measuring cups in the cupboard have ounce markings on them. I looked at one... ooop, there's only 8 oz. in a cup? That means 4 oz. = ½ cup! I didn't use enough juice!

Thinking fast, I dumped the mixture from the pie shell back into the bowl, leaving residue on the edge of the pie tin. Then I hastily washed the beaters (this wasn't too hard; I just put them back on the mixer and ran it in some soapy water, then in some clean water). Then I added 1/3 cup of juice plus another quick slurk, which I figured would be enough. I beat the mixture again. This time, it got thicker! (Still not as thick as I imagined it would get, but oh well.) I poured it back into the pie shell and popped it into the now properly preheated oven.

So I managed to salvage the pie, much like the wreckers of old Key West salvaged shipwrecks in the Gulf of Mexico. It's out of the oven, looking pretty good, if a tad frothier than it should, and the residue around the edge has cooked to a delightful golden brown that will probably gum up the works when I try to cut a slice. All I have to do now is put it in the fridge overnight and hope it'll be edible.

<p style="tone-of-voice: 'Johnny Depp as Ed Wood'">My next one'll be better!</p>

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