September 27th, 2006

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DON'T UPSET MY MOM

Upsetting my mom is something only idiots and assholes do.

My dad was diagnosed not long ago with celiac sprue, which basically means he can't eat things with gluten in them anymore. So he's had to change his diet. One of the things he likes to eat now are salads, which Mom has to make for him because he apparently never really got the hang of preparing his own food (if it's anything more complicated than a sandwich). So Mom makes a few salads at a time, in plastic bowls with sealable tops, and puts them in the fridge so he can eat them over the course of a week.

One thing he likes on his salads are pieces of chicken, and Mom has found that the best and easiest way to get the chicken is to go to Chick-Fil-A and order a chargrilled chicken sandwich with no bun. Actually, just the chicken breast itself. Since the height of the Atkins craze, ordering breadless sandwiches is easy. (And it MUST be breadless; it's no good to get a chicken sandwich and remove the bun because then the chicken might be contaminated with gluten. Even a few crumbs is bad for him. It also MUST be chargrilled, not fried, because the breading on the fried chicken contains gluten.

So Mom stopped at Chick-Fil-A on her way home earlier today to get a chicken breast for Dad's salads, and I put it in the fridge. Just now, I heard her screaming about stupid people!

Seems she was in the process of making a batch of salads, and only just now discovered that they gave her the wrong thing: a fried chicken breast, instead of chargrilled. This is the SECOND time they've done this to her. Chick-Fil-A has upset my mom! Damn you, Chick-Fil-A! Your chicken sandwiches and waffle fries are delicious, but your repeated stupidity is as bitter as burning ashes on the tongue!
  • Current Music
    Andy Partridge - Open a Can of Human Beans
wasp star

In happier news: Fuzzy Warbles 7 & 8

As you can probably tell from the "current music" field on the previous post, the Fuzzy Warbles discs I preordered have shown up! Volumes 7 and 8, completing the series. Also in the package was a nice big box made to look like a nice big '60s-era stamp collection book, titled "The Official Andy Partridge Fuzzy Warbles Collector's Album". I can put all eight discs in it, instantly turning them into a boxed set! There's also a special bonus disc of 9 extra tracks titled "Hinges" (aha, I guess as in little paper?plastic? hinges for affixing stamps to), and a book made to look vaguely like a tape recorder instruction booklet, titled "Hit Record and Play, or A Brief History of Home Sound Capture", which is actually a brief history of how Andy Partridge got interested in recording and became the genius musician we all know and love today. (We do, don't we? I sure do.) Oh yes, and a sheet of decorative stamps showing miniature versions of the individual album covers (which themselves look like giant stamps to begin with).

I'm guessing Andy Partridge likes stamp collecting.
  • Current Music
    Andy Partridge - Through Electric Gardens