Y'know what I'm mildly surprised I've never found (although it's probably a good thing)?
Homestar Runner porn.
Man, that Fruit2O stuff is nasty. More like Fruit2AFTERTASTE. It was so bad I stopped after three sips and poured the rest into a sewer drain. Now I'm at the Galleria, where even though I've already had lunch, I bought a bag of waffle fries just to kill the aftertaste!
And no wonder. The stuff has Splenda in it. I've never found a sugar substitute that tasted good. Feh!