March 30th, 2005

Land of the Midnight Snack

Welcome back to "No Idea What I'm Doing In The Kitchen", on the This Is Food? Network

Well, my first ever attempt to make a Key Lime pie is... a more-or-less success so far. I mixed the condensed milk and egg yolks together, but then the recipe called for 3 to 4 oz. of Key Lime juice. I couldn't remember how much an oz. was. I sort of thought it was a tiny amount, like a teaspoon. So I put in a quick little slurk of juice and mixed it in.

The recipe said to mix until thick. It seemed to be thoroughly mixed, but not very thick. I figured maybe that was as thick as it would get. So I ejected the beaters from the electric mixer into a bowl of water in the sink, and poured the mixture into the crust.

The recipe called for 15-20 minutes at 350°F. Oops, I forgot to preheat the oven. Well, might as well start now. Then Mom reminded me that some of the glass measuring cups in the cupboard have ounce markings on them. I looked at one... ooop, there's only 8 oz. in a cup? That means 4 oz. = ½ cup! I didn't use enough juice!

Thinking fast, I dumped the mixture from the pie shell back into the bowl, leaving residue on the edge of the pie tin. Then I hastily washed the beaters (this wasn't too hard; I just put them back on the mixer and ran it in some soapy water, then in some clean water). Then I added 1/3 cup of juice plus another quick slurk, which I figured would be enough. I beat the mixture again. This time, it got thicker! (Still not as thick as I imagined it would get, but oh well.) I poured it back into the pie shell and popped it into the now properly preheated oven.

So I managed to salvage the pie, much like the wreckers of old Key West salvaged shipwrecks in the Gulf of Mexico. It's out of the oven, looking pretty good, if a tad frothier than it should, and the residue around the edge has cooked to a delightful golden brown that will probably gum up the works when I try to cut a slice. All I have to do now is put it in the fridge overnight and hope it'll be edible.

<p style="tone-of-voice: 'Johnny Depp as Ed Wood'">My next one'll be better!</p>
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Land of the Midnight Snack

Key Lime Pie update

Having been about 9 or 10 hours since I put the pie in the fridge, I'm trying a slice of it now.

In the next post, I'll let you know how it came out.
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