February 15th, 2005

Weird Al, pretzel

You gotta have a gimmick

So the phone rang a few minutes ago. I let the machine get it (yes, we screen our calls in this household), but it was a recorded message (that's why). Jeez, can't get away from spam. It started out:

This message is for people whose neck, back or shoulders make loud popping or cracking noises...

As I left the room and let their machine continue talking to our machine, I thought, hey, that sounds like a stripper gimmick! And the strains of "You Gotta Have A Gimmick" from "Gypsy" played in my head...


You can unh, you can unh,
You can unh unh unh,
Won't take you to the top.
Me, I unh and I unh and I unh unh unh,
But with a snap, crackle and pop...

[The stripper breaks into a wild gyrating dance. Her entire upper body makes a variety of rhythmic cracking and popping noises, giving the impression of a tapdancer performing at a champagne celebration at the stroke of midnight]

Once I was a slacker, now I'm such a cracker,
Every pop and crinkle means cash.
You gotta have a gimmick, if you wanna make a smash!

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