So I opened it. But there was no card in it. Just a 'pre-approved' credit card offer.
I looked back at the front of the envelope. I peered veeery closely at those credit-card-shaped scuff marks. They were PRINTED on! They were made up of tiny grey halftone dots!
Clever job tricking me into opening your come-on, Bank of America. It'll be an even cleverer job if you can figure out some way to make me want to trust you enough now to do business with you.