(Disclaimer: The following is a work of satire. I myself enjoy Homestar Runner cartoons. I'm raggin' on haters, not on H*R, here.)
THE BURNINATED FUR MANIFESTO
by Skree Mouse
What is a Burninated Fur?
Quite simply, that's a furry who has finally WOKEN UP and realized that Homestar Runner cartoons are an UTTER LOAD of CRAP, and why anyone who likes this show is a MORON who needs to be NUKED FROM SPACE (it's the only way to be sure).
Why does Homestar Runner suck? Pull up a chair, my son, and I'll tell you.
- It's badly animated! What the hell are these cartoons made in, anyway? Flash? My dog could do a better job if I tied a paintbrush to his tail and scattered animation cels around on the floor! I mean, this is a cartoon created by someone who thinks a dragon has one big beefy arm growing out of the back of his neck! MY EYES! THE GOGGLES, THEY DO NOTHING!
- It has a clear and obvious bias against GOOD ART! Not only is it badly animated, but quite clearly the creator of the show, Neil Sisserga or whatever his name is, can't stand to look at a drawing that has any talent behind it! How else to explain the scene from the Trogdor cartoon, where the Mexican wrestler guy is shown a drawing of what a dragon is supposed to look like... and he burns it to a crisp with his lighter! AAAARGH!!
- It makes no damn sense! Someone please tell me, what the hell is "fahookwagods"? No, never mind, I don't wanna know, it would probably make my brain explode! Will Homestar Runner say "Sid Hoffman" or "Sid Frenchman" (oh, sorry, "Sid Fwenchman")? WHO THE HELL CARES?!
- Homestar has NO FRICKIN' ARMS! How can this guy pick ANYTHING up? Also, he wears no PANTS!
- Everybody and their DOG quotes it! Last year I went to a furry con and every other word out of everybody's mouth was "Awwiiiiight!" or else "Jaaaaeeerb!" This crap has NOTHING to do with furry and must STOP. NOW. Before I KILL MYSELF. Ohhh, but you'd LIKE that, wouldn't you?!
- What the hell kind of animal is the Cheat? A cheetah? A penguin? Whatever he is, he needs to be KILLED! Filthy beast!
- The Poopsmith is DEEE-SGUSTING. Now, despite what you may think, I do have a sense of humor. But if there's one thing that SICKENS me, it's TOILET HUMOR! I can't STAND talking about, thinking about, or even LOOKING AT poop! Yet this guy is COVERED in it! He probably [lengthy diatribe in disgusting graphic detail censored for nauseating content]