?

Log in

No account? Create an account

"Seems like every writer in Hollywood is all about the journey and the change in the character." - The online computery journal thingy of a turtle

Dec. 18th, 2008

01:59 am - "Seems like every writer in Hollywood is all about the journey and the change in the character."

Previous Entry Share Next Entry

Speaking of Bolt, this is one of the dumbest movie reviews ever written.

"Okay, two warnings here: 1) Major spoilers and 2) I’m a cynic."

No, you're just an idiot (as I shall demonstrate).


This next quote is actually from near the end of the review:

"The network is missing the star of their show and they do almost nothing to find the dog."

Okay, granted, they didn't show much in the way of people looking for Bolt. Perhaps they wrote some scenes like that, but had to cut them for time. I just figured scenes of crew members cruising the streets of Hollywood keeping their eyes peeled for a dog we know is hundreds of miles away wouldn't make for very gripping cinema.

"For instance, the director goes through all this trouble to get a real performance from Bolt, but when Bolt goes missing, he replaces him with another dog. Seemed out of character for all the trouble the director was going through."

What choice did he have?! It was that or cancel the show. Getting another dog was most likely somebody else's idea, and the director was forced to go along with it to keep his job.

"When Bolt realizes he’s on a TV show, it’s kind of a let down. I think it would’ve been a better movie if Bolt somehow kept his “world” in tact without the awkward realization scenes of Mittens explaining reality."

What are you, five?

"Also, there’s this bit at the end where a group of pigeons pitch Bolt some show ideas and it somehow actually get used. Didn’t really get how that could happen. Seems to break the rules of their own universe."

The idea that got used was that Penny gets abducted by aliens. I just figured some writer on the show came up with it, and it coincidentally happened to match the pigeons' idea. I mean, c'mon. Aliens. It's the kind of idea anybody could come up with!

"Also, they skip over things like why Mittens and Rhino end up in Penny’s house at the end."

Um, because Penny saw them being friends with Bolt after she got out of the hospital, and decided to adopt them?

"Why Rhino isn’t disappointed that Bolt doesn’t have superpowers. Also, when Penny’s mom quits the show for Penny, it seems that the blame should really fall on the agent, not the show. Why not just fire him?"

Rhino never figures out that Bolt doesn't have superpowers. And did you miss the part where Penny was getting tired of the way the show was keeping her and Bolt apart when they weren't busy filming?

"Seems like every writer in Hollywood is all about the journey and the change in the character. But why does the change always have to be let’s live happily-ever after on a farm because being friends is so great? Why can’t you be friends AND still be rich on a TV show?"

See my previous comment.

"Bolt is part of a TV show that centers around a dog. When’s the last time you saw that? The 50’s?"

TV brings back old ideas all the time. This is basically Rin Tin Tin + The Six Million Dollar Man.

"When Penny’s looking for Bolt, she’s the star of a big TV show, so naturally she goes to the copy place to photocopy fliers to hang around the studio? ... Seems to me, a kid that starred in a major TV show would be more savvy and have more resources at her disposal."

Unless Bolt had some sort of radio tracking collar (which he obviously didn't, probably because nobody expected him to escape from the studio), how the hell they gonna find him? I figure she was going to post those fliers around town. Hey, it might work (or it might have if Bolt hadn't been shipped to New York).

"Still, I’m nitpicking. Bolt is an okay Pixar entry"

It's NOT Pixar. It is Disney, and granted, in my opinion it's good enough to be Pixar (a trend I'm happy to see in CGI films), but Pixar didn't make it and you clearly didn't do your homework. Or use your intellect or imagination while watching the movie. You're certainly free to like it or dislike it as you please, but I'm also free to point out your failings as a reviewer.

Comments:

(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
From:kamberlane
Date:December 18th, 2008 12:30 pm (UTC)
(Link)
He serves there but a Pixar film is Pixar film, Disneys sometimes barely OK computer animation department is not Pixar and never will be as far as they are going now.

Not saying Bolt is bad, it's not. It's actually really good. But Pixar films are of a different caliber. Bolt is easily the best CG Disney film yet. I mean, Chicken Little? Erf.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
From:drmercurious
Date:December 18th, 2008 11:49 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Hey, it looks like they're FINALLY realizing what Pixar new from the get-go: Story and Characters FIRST, Animation SECOND.

Well, there's other lessons that go along with this, like 'pay your animators what they're worth', but hey, I'm surprised Disney's come this far without their collective heads exploding.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]
From:thecanuckguy
Date:December 19th, 2008 05:08 am (UTC)
(Link)
Two words: Brother Bear (or was that Pixar too?) Regardless, I thought it was pretty good character development, great writing (I was always partial to two slightly-more-than-cameo animals, I'll leave you to guess which ;) ) and the animation wasn't bad either.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]
From:kinkyturtle
Date:December 19th, 2008 06:09 am (UTC)
(Link)
No, Brother Bear wasn't Pixar. It wasn't even CGI! Some Pixar animators have expressed interest in doing a hand-drawn 2D animation feature, but so far they haven't made any.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]
From:electronin
Date:December 18th, 2008 03:11 pm (UTC)
(Link)
I feel so let down by the sudden dip in quality from such a high-calibre, witty site as Superfrat.com...


"What are you, five?"
To answer that question I call attention to the front page, top blog entry, "Frat house video homage: top ten nut shots".
So, yeah, I'm gonna have to agree he's five.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]
From:doodlesthegreat
Date:December 18th, 2008 03:48 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Actually, John Lassiter of Pixar now also heads Walt Disney Feature Animation, so it's semi-Pixar. =};-3

The real truth of the matter is that Pixar simply started doing what Disney forgot to do, focus the film on story and characterization. Lassiter is just trying to bring that back.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]
From:kinkyturtle
Date:December 18th, 2008 09:59 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Aww, lemme have fun griping at the guy. :}
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]
From:lobowolf
Date:December 19th, 2008 12:22 am (UTC)
(Link)
That review sounds like it was written by an 6th grader who suddenly remembered he had a book report due the next morning.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]
From:thecanuckguy
Date:December 19th, 2008 05:06 am (UTC)
(Link)
I challenge you to prove this was not the case.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)